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Mother's time
Can you remember the last time that you took some time to care for yourself? No probably not! Do you ever stop to draw breath and have a few minutes for yourself? Creating time is not impossible, but you do need to explore all your time saving options. |  |
The pace of life can feel non-stop with children. It doesn’t matter what age they are, there are always needs that have to be met. Whether it is the newborn baby who feeds all day and all night, or the school child that has after school activities, or even the grumpy teenager who thinks that grunting is a new form of communication. Then there is the house that needs cleaning, shopping to do, meals need cooking and the piles of washing that really never seem to end. Oh and don’t forget that list of jobs that you are always meaning to get round to.
Does the guilty feeling attack you? You no sooner try to sit down and read a book, when into your mind pops the whole list of things that you should be doing. Have you ever wondered whether the children feel guilty when they are taken to their activities, or if your husband feels guilty when he watches the football? Of course they don’t, they feel they deserve it. Now ask yourself the question – why don’t I deserve to have some time for me? Can you actually find a valid reason? No I thought not.
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| Finding time in your day, is all about planning. You don’t have to try to find hours at a time, but I am sure that you can find thirty minutes here or there. Perhaps you need to ask your husband to be responsible for the children, while you go and have a nice long soak in the bath, with some bubblebath and a good book. Is there any reason why he couldn’t look after them for a few hours at the weekend? |
Alternatively you could ask a friend to watch your toddler for the morning in exchange for looking after her child on another day. Make it a regular date and then both of you will benefit. While children are at school take some time for yourself. Don’t jam pack it with all the jobs you feel you need to get done.
Make life easier for yourself at home. Are you doing all the jobs, or is the rest of the family pitching in too? The children are perfectly capable of doing their bit. If you make it part of the family routine they will not question it. As they get older they can have more responsible jobs such as hanging out the washing, or peeling the potatoes. Then you will have extra time to spend with them, because you won’t spend all your time in the kitchen. Encourage older children to help younger ones with jobs too. Praise the children so that they feel a valued member of the family team.
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Do I really need this time for me? Yes you do. It gives you a sense of being yourself, not just a mother, housewife, or a worker. It gives you time to refresh yourself and then you are better able to give back to others. And best of all the family will love having a mother, who is not always worn out, short fused and irritable. |  |
So you have now found some extra time. Are you sat there wondering what to do? Some mothers have spent so many years not looking after themselves, that they really have to strain to think about what life was like before the children arrived. Have you got any old hobbies that you would like to take up again. Is there anything that you would love to have a go at? Perhaps you could look at a night school course. It doesn’t have to be high powered, it could be flower arranging or meditation. Take up some exercise or simply just go out for a walk to blow the cobwebs away. Go to the library and get a good book out, or go shopping for yourself for a change. Call a friend and meet up for a coffee, or have a girl’s night out. The list is endless, and is only limited by your imagination.
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Remember to make this a permanent change. This is not about doing it for one week, this is about valuing yourself and doing it every week. Caring for yourself is your responsibility, and nobody else will do it for you. Go on, take the plunge and see where your dreams may take you.
A happy mother leads to happy children. |
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