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How writing helps to deal with your feelings
There will be many people who will think that writing is not the way to deal with feelings, however after many years of using this tool both personally and professional I can see what a significant impact it has upon so many people.
Like everything in life practice makes perfect. If you have never allowed yourself to explore the creative side of writing the chances are that you will feel uncomfortable with this tool to begin with. Start by writing in a personal journal and say what is going on for you today. You don’t need to write a whole essay, a few lines will be a wonderful start.
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Writing in a personal journal has many positive advantages but you must also be aware of some of the precautions you need to take. Ensure that the journal you write in is kept private so that nobody will be able to read the things you write. Depending upon your circumstances you may have to lock it away. If you feel that what you write may be discovered it will inhibit you in writing what you need to say because you will live in fear that it may be discovered. If you write a journal on the computer make sure that you have your computer set with maximum security settings so that people can not find what you have written. Don’t walk away from your computer leaving the document visible to anyone walking past. You may get distracted and before you know it the person you are writing about it reading how you feel! Never send sensitive information via regular e mail – if you wouldn’t write the information on a post card for all to read; then don’t send it by e mail! Encrypted e mail (I use Privacemail) offers a high security option for sending confidential information. This is the system I use when I work with clients through online counselling. Always think about security of what you write so it won’t be discovered by accident. |
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So what are the benefits of writing about how you feel? Well it is a wonderful tool to access what is going on deep inside of you. Sometimes you will head to your journal knowing that you feel anxious inside but don’t have a clue what it is all about. As you begin to write the words just seem to fill the page, you explore issues in depth and a picture begins to form. Suddenly you become in touch with what is bothering you and for many issues once it is out on paper you can reflect upon the situation with clarity. Other times you just needed to get the thoughts out of your head and onto paper. |
Your journal doesn’t have to be all written words. You might like to draw a picture about how you are feeling or write large bold words with the feelings you have like ANGER, RESENTMENT, SAD etc Sometimes when you are feeling very angry you may write in huge letters rather than your usual hand writing. This journal doesn’t have to be perfect; it doesn’t matter if there are spelling mistakes, splodges on the page, or a brain storming activity. This is yours to do with as you like. Nobody is going to mark it for neatness or spelling!
Let your mind wander as write about what is going on. I often tell people to keep writing until there is nothing left to say on the subject. Sometimes that may be a few lines and at other times you may write pages and pages. It’s a great idea to get into a regular habit of writing so that when you really need to release your feelings, you have learned the art of writing allowing you to access that deep inner place where you have kept all those hidden secrets and negative feelings.
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Don’t forget to put a date on each entry as it is really useful to be able to reflect upon how you were feeling at a specific point in time. If you flick back to old entries it can be really surprising to see how you felt or how much you have changed. It even tells you how bad things really were when you were at your lowest point, for example when you hit your rock bottom in an eating disorder. |  |
I love to watch people develop the skill of writing freely about how they are feeling. As an online counsellor I have seen people who have come to me barely able to tell me why they have come for help. Then suddenly they feel safe to open up and everything pours out. It is so wonderful to be able to help them learn such a valuable skill. I also think that online counselling helps people receive help, who otherwise would never have been able to sit in front of a counsellor. Online counselling offers the protection of anonymity; the ability to share things that you feel ashamed or embarrassed about without having to say it verbally; the deep exploration of issues that you may never have dared to confront verbally and the ability to make sure that nobody else knows that you are having counselling. Not only that, you can reread and reread the sessions as many times as you want. It is amazing how different things can feel a few days later when you remove all the emotional feelings from what you wrote.
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| So to anyone contemplating whether to begin journaling I would say just go for it. I began my journaling about 5 years before I reached rock bottom. At school I never excelled at English, and I clearly remember when I got married I would ask my husband to help me write business letters. However today because I learnt the art of journaling, I have gone on to use my writing skills through the published articles I write, the articles on my web site and my first book which I hope will be published shortly. So it’s never too late to learn how to write. |
There’s a wonderful course that I took by the Writer’s Bureau which helped me in so many ways. You can work at your own pace and if you are anything like me I ended up having many articles published before I was even a quarter of the way through the course.
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