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Are you ready to change?
Change can be a very frightening and a daunting prospect, or it can be something that you desperately want to happen because you are sick and tired of the consequences which keep on happening. However saying that you want to change, does not always mean that you are actually ready to change. |  |
Many people who suffer from an eating disorder want to make changes to their lives many years before they actually do so. In fact usually they tell themselves on a daily basis that they will start again tomorrow and it will be so different. But the reality means that “tomorrow never comes”. Sometimes things have to become so desperate before we have the courage to change and sadly many people have to face their rock bottom before it gets bad enough.
Here are some things you might like to consider:-
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Why Change?
• What is your reason for change?
• What are your pro’s and con’s for making changes. You may want to write these down with pro’s on one side and con’s on the other side
• Are there lots of reasons to change which impact one fundamental area of your life e.g improved health
• Do you feel the need for change is strong?
• Write your reasons for change on a piece of paper so you can remind yourself why you wanted to change | |
Who are you changing for?
• Has your doctor told you that you must change but you don’t feel the need?
• Are you being forced to change because you have been given an ultimatum by your partner?
• Does someone keep nagging you to change?
• Are you changing because it is something YOU want to do?
If you want the best chances of succeeding then you have to be making the changes because YOU want to.
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Specific event?
• Is there an event that you are changing for?
• What will happen once the event has passed, will you slip back into your old ways?
• Would it be nice to have made the changes by the time the event occurs but you have other strong motivating factors too?
If you want long term success then you need long term motivating reasons to change
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What are the benefits of change?
• Have a clear idea about how the change will benefit you. Don’t forget all the small benefits too, they are just as important.
• Brain storm all the reasons you can think of and write them down
• Who benefits from your change? Are other people affected too?
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What frightens you?
• Change can be very frightening as you enter unknown territory. This is the most common reason why people fail to make changes.
• Write a list of all the things that frighten you about making changes. It’s ok to have fear but learning to face your fear and do it anyway is the key to successful changes.
• No matter how frightened you are, think about an inspiring person who has walked the path before you. When I came into recovery from binge eating disorder and gave up my chocolate I literally thought I would die. Then I realised others had done this and were still alive. My brother asked me what I had to lose and by that stage I had nothing more to lose except my life.
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What would be good about your new lifestyle?
• List all the things that you would enjoy once you have made the changes.
• Think about how you would feel
• Imagine yourself once you have changed. You may have an image of walking down a beach or playing games with your children.
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Support
• What support do you need to make the changes successful?
• List the type of support you require in order to make your changes
• Is there a support group for the type of issue you are facing e.g cancer or eating disorders?
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• Who can help you change? List all the possible people in your family or social network. Think about professional people who could help you too.
• Can I help to support you through online counselling or my articles?
• Remember that nobody can read your mind so you have to ask someone to support you. The worst they can do is say “No”.
Commitment
• Are you committed to making the changes?
• More importantly are you committed to making these changes when the going gets tough?
• Have you accepted that permanent changes require long term commitment until your change has become a normal way of life for you?
• Perseverance is an essential quality if you are contemplating radical changes.
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Motivation
• What is motivating you to change? Those who make successful long term changes have a reason that will always be there e.g. emotional health and wellbeing
• Clearly write down your motivating reason for change.
• Motivation must come from YOU and not because others want you to change
• Events pass so they will not give you long term motivation because once the event has passed then your reason for change has too.
• If you are really struggling to find your motivation force you may want to work with a professional to help your motivation for change. I would be delighted to help you through online counselling.
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Cost of change
• Making changes can require financial commitment. However you might like to think about the costs you incur by not changing. Think of the dieter who has spent thousands on trying to lose weight through quick fix solutions that don’t work. A few counselling sessions that give long term help are a far cheaper option.
• Can you ever put a price on finding freedom from your problems? I know for me there is no financial price I could put on breaking free from binge eating disorder. It has been worth every penny I have spent in counselling, books and self development.
• Why not give it a go and see if it is for you. You are not making a commitment for life but for one session, assessment or book. This may be your turning point for a whole new life.
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